Part 1 – I’m Back!!

Hello dear friends,

It’s been a journey—one with unexpected turns, stretching seasons, and quiet valleys. Since my last post, so much has happened, and I’ve often thought, “I really need to share this… someone else might need to hear it too.” Maybe you’ve walked a similar road.

So here I am—yes, finally back! It feels strange and familiar all at once. I started this blog full of hope and purpose, and then… life happened. Everything seemed to come to a halt, and I’m sure some of you may have wondered, “Where did she go?”

The truth is, I’ve been navigating some deep waters, but I haven’t forgotten this space or the people who might stumble upon these words and find a bit of light. I’m back now, ready to write again, to share the beauty and the brokenness—and hopefully, to encourage someone who needs to know they’re not alone.

The Spiritual Gut-Punch
Memoir Reflection – Part 1 of the Series

January 2016. It was late Saturday afternoon, the sun beginning to set and leadership of our church were excitedly gathering for a meeting of recognition of accomplishments of leaders, as well as appointments of leadership. It had been a rainy day and we were all gathered, bundled up in warm jackets and coats in the initial stages of our church building. At this time it had a roof, but no walls, so the rain and wind had no mercy. We were gathered for what should have been a joyful church moment—exciting announcements. But as the words spilled from the pulpit, I felt my stomach twist.

A prophetess. Appointed to be our pastor’s spiritual adviser.

I don’t remember breathing. I just remember the thud of confusion hitting my heart. A spiritual advisor? But we have the Holy Spirit. Isn’t He the one who leads us into all truth? I knew this woman. Her face was familiar from previous churches. Her presence didn’t bring peace—it brought a deep, aching unease.

I didn’t walk away, though. I stayed. Because just a year earlier, I had been ordained as a voluntary pastor. The joy of teaching, of serving, of being molded into something useful in the hands of my Lord—it gave me purpose. This clay was finally becoming something. Someone.

But in early 2017, the stirring began. A quiet nudge—no lightning bolts or visions—just a gentle knowing. I sensed my time lecturing at our Bible College was coming to an end. I was scheduled to teach on prayer that first quarter, but nothing after that. I mentioned it to my husband, uncertain but trusting God, that there was something new that He was doing.

Life stayed busy. Notes for Living Life Groups, prayer meetings, training leaders. I forgot about the earlier sense… until November.

We sat in a room of fellow lecturers when the news dropped: No more live lecturing. From 2018 onward, teaching would be delivered via pre-recorded media. The decision was final. No warning. No space to grieve.

I felt the floor shift beneath me again.

But then—a whisper. That gentle reminder from the Holy Spirit: Didn’t I tell you this was coming? Didn’t I prepare your heart in January?

Tears didn’t fall in public. But my heart wept. Not because I was losing a role—but because the Lord was asking me to let go of something I was passionate about again.

And yet… I could feel the reshaping begin.

TO BE CONTINUED…